telling you five or four times
December 29, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
sitting here waiting for the color to set into the deepest layer of my hair, each strand painted red or purple or a possible rogue orange gold by way of chemicals and rubber gloved circular movement, i wait for the dryer to finish a spin and then some, i wait for ernie to wake up from his pre-bedtime nap, i wait for someone to cry out in the night from beneath blanket and the twinkle of lights just as i am entering the shower to relieve the itching and minimal burning of my scalp.
ernie doesn’t like to see the shower as i rinse the dye from each of the once-brown, once-silver hairs of my head. the water pools in irregular circles of dark red, scarlet, a saturated blood color, thinner and darker than ordinary blood were it to spurt fresh with its first kiss of oxygen against the white cast iron bathtub, the cheap white plastic curtain.
melanie used to come over to color my hair. i would sit in the yard and would micro-manage the amount of dye she’d use from the bottle. “did you use it all? use it all, i really want you to use all of it. how much is left in the bottle?” an hour later she would have used the entire bottle, having separated small sections of hair and repeatedly coating them with the dye. tonight, i apply the color myself, using all of the dye, and it only takes ten minutes. i do not sit in the yard, i stand in the bathroom, starting with the part, the hairline, squeezing globs of white-ish purple and smearing them over and under until making a knot on the top of my head. when my hair is shorter i spend thirty minutes waiting to rinse while larger pieces fall down on my neck and the tops of my ears leaving purplish tattoos speckled on my skin.
rebecca colored my hair once with henna powder purchased from the indian store. the texture was pleasant and it smelled of rotten grass, but my hair did not change colors. noel used henna on my head once, too. her hair turned a real handsome auburn but mine did nothing. the darkness of my hair only responds to chemicals, i suppose.
my boys have blond hair, henry’s darker, jude’s lighter, like ernie’s was when he was small. my mother never let me dye my hair and i never did so until i went to college and cut off the length of it and mailed it in a box to a boy who had a thing for lady of shalott hair. i wonder if i would let my daughter change the glimmer and nature of her hair with a box of color, in the yard, in the bathroom? perhaps it’s easier to have boys, then, after all.
on christmas day in the morning (and late afternoon)
December 25, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
of the 365 days in the year, jude chooses this morning to sleep a wee bit longer (past eight o’clock!). eventually we sent henry in to wake him up.
they suck on tootsie rolls and peel foil from chocolates while examining the deliberate crumbs on the cookie plate. they exchange exclamations over the bilibos of each other, the new markers, notebooks, personal packs of gum. they blow up and bounce on the new whoopie cushion. shrieks fill the house. ernie showers (ritualistically). i make coffee and start a load of diapers (?). ho, ho, ho.
the Christmas Story is read. jude drools chocolate on my hand. henry leads in a singing of happy birthday, Dear Jesus. presents are opened. everyone smiles.
later, dinner and i stand in the kitchen and try to figure what should be done first with this mysterious turkey. after much calculating and a few helpful telephone calls, everything is hot and on the table at once.
three cheers for mothers and sisters and daughters everywhere who made (make?) these kinds of feasts on a regular basis. amazement given. everyone is starving because all that has been eaten today, due to botched breakfast planning, are cookies, chocolates, and leftover pizza. we eat and play and finish the day with books piled high on the bed. the day, gone too fast, “as Christmas always does” ernie says, when we realize that it’s well after five o’clock.
and all the bells on earth shall ring,
on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
and all the bells on earth shall ring,
on Christmas Day in the morning.
sugarplum
December 24, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
jude was in a christmas crazy, running through the house laughing, rolling across the floor with a shriek and a holler. too much excitement and we lose our minds. so we put him to bed, forgetting that we had not left cookies for santa. henry didn’t mind doing the job himself, especially since he got to carry the plate to the living room (only dropping the contents three times on the way . . . shhhhh) without help from jude’s hyper, chocolatey hands.
we made our tree this year and i do think it’s my favorite tree yet. it started as an experiment and ended up as the tree of choice. “i can believe we MADE OUR OWN TREE!” henry exclaimed. “this is soooo exciting.”
there’s a buzz in the house, the soft breathing of boys in cozy pajamas, dreams in a whirl zipping through old walls and around about our heads, the fizz of ernie’s coke tall and cold in the lamplight, the fly of the traffic at intervals determined by the traffic lights at distant ends of the street. it’s the first christmas alone, our own little family waking up in the morning, two coffee cups, four breakfast plates, one little turkey thawing and waiting for my inexperienced culinary skills to take over.
merry christmas.
golden christmas
December 22, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
too many cookies, too much chocolate, too much piracy . . . something.
christmas eggs
December 15, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
here it is, most of our christmas wishing for 2006. it’s sometimes hard to wish for things when one feels so blessed. and yet, i’m always happy to have new books, music, and good tools for the kitchen, of course. ernie’s list is always late and therefore goes unpublished.
mollie
5 1/2 qt. le creuset dutch oven in flame
subscription to martha stewart living mag
craftivity by carson
giada’s family dinners
the naturally clean home by siegal-maier
what if by williams & keith
the little dragon & orange cheeks audio CD by jay o’callahan
bilibo, green
beginner erector set
rainbow kite
green eggs & ham cookbook
jude
raggedy ann & andy dolls made my my mother (with hair, which must be said since clayton had a bald raggedy andy for years)
plan toys wooden parking garage
plan toys wooden car fleet
bilibo, orange
boa bella game
blue thunder monster truck t-shirt, size youth small
green skin (bare)
December 14, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
while melanie and i tried to bake cookies (who were being particular about which cookie sheet on which they wanted to cook) henry (barely dressed, though more dressed than usual), jude, and melanie’s noa bounced and rolled and shrieked and sometimes fought on the leaf crunching and acorn rolling trampoline.
i love how spastic their movements are as they try to move their bodies the way they normally do while walking on a surface that is not as forgiving (though more so in some ways) than the hard ground unmoveable. i love the constant state of their giggle, even through bump and blunder.
i do not love the leaving behind (all the way deep into simpsonville) of my nalgene bottle (pink) and i do not love how hard it was for henry to leave the planet when it was time to get poppy and make dinner, but sometimes it’s hard to do something we don’t want to do, and sometimes i want to cry and wail about it myself, so, who am i to do more or less than commiserate?
the stars are brightly shining
December 12, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
we’ve not hunted or chopped the perfect christmas tree even though it’s nearly mid-december. the commencement of our christmas shopping and creating has nearly happened several times. we take jammy rides (dressing children in pajamas, driving around in the dark, listening to something soothing or hypnotic, cranking up the heat to create the perfect roasting temperature for drowsy children — all in an attempt to send them to the sugarplum dance for an all night party) and cruise by the more energetic christmas decorators and all of their santa-sleigh and sprinkled-light confection.
we did attend the for-some-reason-i-remember-this-to-be-more-fun-ten-years-ago lighting ceremony at bju. when we came home ernie hung lights around the boys’ room in a swaggering haphazard fashion that resulted in the crunch and subsequent disfunction of the lights who were hung too low in the doorway. after he hung them, henry “sang a long note” and turned the lights on, in much the same way that the o holy night singing girl did just before some underpaid boy flipped the switch during the ceremony.
the bju lights are beautiful and all, but we think they look best in a squint with a quick twirl of the head.
we’ve baked cookies.
the frustrating kind that involve floured surfaces, rolling pins, cutting butter chunks into flour, cheap cookie cutters, a silpat, oven watching until flat sog of dough turns into brightly shining stars.
i wish that i didn’t yell and leap when we do these kinds of projects. i need to be more laid back, more fun, less annoyed, less frustrated. i need to drink more hot chocolate and less espresso. i need more sleep and less prowl.
big wheel don’t you roll
December 5, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
all we want to do is roll. sharon gave me white roller star skates. so far they’ve gone up and down a few driveways, nothing overly smooth. we want an early morning and a smooth wide surface for various roller tricks. we want to wear perfect roller skating outfits, although exactly what that is we do not know. we want to drink coffee after and talk for long hours while the children are sweet and gentle with each other and play quietly and nicely without fighting or pinching anya’s fish or peeling back the eyelids of the cat’s new blind kittens.
henry has a new bike with flame pin-striping and snazzy cookie monster training wheels. the bike was had for $7 at goodwill on saturday and has been a great source of joy since it was pulled from the trunk and handed over. jude sits on it and says, “mom, i’m achim!” achim is sharon’s husband who drives a “rocketa” on the back of which we’ve all had a seat (except for jude) and a steady zoom down the street. “he goes faster when we goes around the corner,” flaunts isabelle with a twinkle.
over the weekend ernie assembled the radio flyer all terrain wheeled wagon that the boys were given last christmas (don’t read that, grammy!). it’s probably for the best that the thing was left shiny in his box as he would have most assuredly been scarred on the truck during the move. they pull sticks and marshmallows and each other through the variety of terrain in the yard.
friday ernie and friends from work will roll the new piano, also purchased at goodwill on saturday (for more than $7 but decidedly less than we were anticipating paying for less of a piano). out of the store and into the truck and out of the truck and into the living room. i was beginning to feel depressed and sad about the weirdness of not having a piano nearby and the sad reality of limited funds and the expense of instruments. for nearly a song we are now the proud owners of something that not only sounds very nice, but is also clean and simple in decoration and not cluttered with ugly golden mesh on the music stand or 1980’s floral carving or broken keys or strings. it’s sad and should be more embarrassing than it is that i don’t remember God’s faithfulness before i begin to despair. it’s always soon after that i’m made to see the reality of being a child of the King.
big wheel don’t you roll
December 5, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
all we want to do is roll. sharon gave me white roller star skates. so far they’ve gone up and down a few driveways, nothing overly smooth. we want an early morning and a smooth wide surface for various roller tricks. we want to wear perfect roller skating outfits, although exactly what that is we do not know. we want to drink coffee after and talk for long hours while the children are sweet and gentle with each other and play quietly and nicely without fighting or pinching anya’s fish or peeling back the eyelids of the cat’s new blind kittens.
henry has a new bike with flame pin-striping and snazzy cookie monster training wheels. the bike was had for $7 at goodwill on saturday and has been a great source of joy since it was pulled from the trunk and handed over. jude sits on it and says, “mom, i’m achim!” achim is sharon’s husband who drives a “rocketa” on the back of which we’ve all had a seat (except for jude) and a steady zoom down the street. “he goes faster when we goes around the corner,” flaunts isabelle with a twinkle.
over the weekend ernie assembled the radio flyer all terrain wheeled wagon that the boys were given last christmas (don’t read that, grammy!). it’s probably for the best that the thing was left shiny in his box as he would have most assuredly been scarred on the truck during the move. they pull sticks and marshmallows and each other through the variety of terrain in the yard.
friday ernie and friends from work will roll the new piano, also purchased at goodwill on saturday (for more than $7 but decidedly less than we were anticipating paying for less of a piano). out of the store and into the truck and out of the truck and into the living room. i was beginning to feel depressed and sad about the weirdness of not having a piano nearby and the sad reality of limited funds and the expense of instruments. for nearly a song we are now the proud owners of something that not only sounds very nice, but is also clean and simple in decoration and not cluttered with ugly golden mesh on the music stand or 1980’s floral carving or broken keys or strings. it’s sad and should be more embarrassing than it is that i don’t remember God’s faithfulness before i begin to despair. it’s always soon after that i’m made to see the reality of being a child of the King.
and children listen
December 2, 2006 | Filed Under ordinary | Leave a Comment
roses with little thorns grow from the holly bushes behind the house. henry withstands the prickles and repeatedly brings the flowers in the house to me. he is rosy and smiling and his hair is long in his eyes. he has a lilt to his step and mud on his knees. jude brings sticks to me, then petals. he stands on his toes to pick them.
my mother says that it has snowed in illinois for inches and inches until reaching a foot.
in south carolina today we negotiate the necessity of jackets.
we dream of a muddy christmas with every christmas card we think of writing. maybe it will snow instead.