i know this room, i’ve walked this floor
December 31, 2010 | Filed Under extraordinary | 3 Comments
january
february
march
april
may
june
july
august
september
october
november
december
you need to straighten your posture
December 30, 2010 | Filed Under ordinary | 1 Comment
everyone rages for routine around here, the holiday free-for-all wearing us down and making us grouchy. we need school! and a rhythm in the day. we need more walking and less super smash brothers. we need more vegetation and less sugar. something is needed, the first, perhaps, being the tearing down of the christmas tree, the hauling of it out of the house, the taking of it to the back, and the setting of it on fire. right away.
twinklings
December 29, 2010 | Filed Under lists, ordinary | Leave a Comment
enjoying
episodes of hoarders
catching up on laundry
coziest new sweater. long. and with pockets. and wooly. and argyle-y.
thinking of new mobiles and other pieces, for the etsy shop, and otherwise.
planning for the next term of school with the boys
reading the nutshell library to lola
writing a 2011 manifesto
sparkling lola’s fingernails
plotting out the garden and hoping that this new year will be better than the last
with every leaf a miracle
December 28, 2010 | Filed Under extraordinary | 5 Comments
blink and it’s gone, sometimes the day, sometimes the minute, most times whole months and even years of time lost as your eye and a few hundred lashes swing down, sweep up again. things will not always be as they are and this is sometimes a comfort: the baby will not always cry for the teeth, for no apparent reason; the kids will not always fight; i will not always be sloshing through crumbs and spills and toys and laundry. but hidden in among the piles of relief are the other minutes, the beautiful kind. flashes of goodness like those gold and red and blue and green dots from the sun caught in a photograph. kids that were babies not too long ago. grown ups that were kids not too long ago. a few minutes rocking in my lap. a few seconds chasing them in the grass. a pause before they get the joke and laugh. the swing of a little hand reaching for mine on the walk. all of them pushing and scooting to see the page of a book, all the pages in a book, all the pages in many books. the two songs on the cd to which i agree to dance along. holding her high because she’s still light enough for my strong arms to swing her up and over my head. the smile scooping up and taking over the face. the laugh that is real and uninhibited. drawing together. rolling over in the bed to make room for another until morning.
things will not always be this way. i like this and i do not like this, and it doesn’t matter if i like this or do not because it happens all the same. i remember this and i forget this, and it doesn’t matter if i remember it or not because it happens all the same. i cannot stay within a minute but for a minute. but i can take the minute and look at it without barely blinking, hold it in my hands like a jewel, pull it close to my face and feel it, smell it like it’s a lilac and i can’t help but do only that.
weekending
December 27, 2010 | Filed Under extraordinary, weekending | Leave a Comment
christmas. it was fun to be a kid at christmas. i remember roller skates with pink wheels and an atrocity called a leather jacket that i died to have when i was on the kid end of christmas. but it’s so much more fun to be the parent on christmas, at least it feels that way to us.
it snowed in south carolina this christmas, an actual white christmas here, white and clean, covering over the rake, the toys, the tomato vines in a sorry tangle in the garden. it was beautiful and peaceful and the kids ran through it and rolled it into balls and froze their hands and legs and noses. we are people who wear hoodies at most so we’re not totally prepared for wintery weather, but they didn’t care and as i stood in the house watching them through the window i wished i were more carefree like they are, like i used to be, a little thing that slipped away when so many things for which to care piled up around me.
we spent christmas here at home, christmas breakfasting and christmas dinner and christmas gifts to give and receive in between. there are legos, fairy wings, a doll that giggles, lots of books, and lots of army gear. lola doesn’t want to take this necklace off and she was also lucky when she opened up this little dog pillow that i’ve been wanting for her for a long time. my husband surprised me several times, new slippers to start, and then the best thing to me: a painting by my friend diane. i feel very loved, which is a nice thing to feel. diane painted it just for me, and i’ll post pics when we get it into place. there is gold leaf and turquoise and fish and flowers and all the colors i love the most. basically it’s the best thing in the house and, again, i feel much love, all around me in a glow, and that’s a super nice way to feel, let me tell you.
this week i’m looking forward to putting most of the christmas things away, work in the studio just a wee bit, make a cheese ball and a cheesecake and probably something else that is cheesy for ringing in the new year. we’re taking the week off of school, too, so i’m hoping to take a trip to the children’s museum (a year long pass gifted to us from grammy and grandad!) and take some walks and do a few things that we don’t always have time for when we do more bookwork during the week. it’s the last week of the year and you’d think there would be some grand plan for launching us off into the new, but i’ve not thought of anything grand quite yet.
figgy pudding
December 21, 2010 | Filed Under lists | Leave a Comment
to do before christmas
cook lots of side dishes
do the nasty things that must be done to make a turkey
do a little spray painting in hot pink
wrap everything and be sure to buy scotch tape this year
wait hopefully for stuff that’s supposed to arrive on 12/24
hang paper snowflakes
vacuum paper snowflake debris
hide the muppets christmas cd that’s getting way too much play
take stuff to goodwill to make way for new stuff
stitch up my cheap moccasin that is falling apart and driving me mad
cut off the mullets on the backs of my sons’ heads
weekending
December 20, 2010 | Filed Under weekending | Leave a Comment
this weekend worked hard to prove how really dull i actually am in real life and how few adventures are actually had around these parts. i hate it when it feel sorry for myself for having such a nonexistent social life. and i really do realize that slowing the days down and enjoying my beautiful wild little family is my adventure for now, but some days it’s hard to believe in this and to not look around at greener grass.
we stayed home for the most part, early coffee and late coffee and nothing at all to make most of us rush. after the boys’ basketball games ernie had a wedding all day and late into the night and the rest of us stayed here watching christmas movies and forging ahead on finishing christmas gifts that need to be mailed. we baked cookies and made candy and finished making some gifts. we went to church and made indian food (chicken tikka masala: too tomatoey and too heavy-creamy which was too bad. anyone with an amazing recipe for this?) took a nap and went to a christmas concert at church in which ernie was playing trombone. i love the percussion, the chimes that sound like the winter wind swelling up over the snow, the pounding timpani under everyone else. all day today the boys pretended to be musicians in an orchestra, taping together toys and cardboard boxes and sticks to make french horns, bassoons.
i’m thinking of having my cello repaired and practicing it. in my dreams. i feel very sarcastic and of course a bit sad when i think about music and my instruments and the stacks of dusty books next to the piano.
if you dig it, do it
December 15, 2010 | Filed Under lists | Leave a Comment
doing it twice
baking peanut butter cookies
wishing i were a parisian lady
counting my christmas pennies to spend
glad i can borrow this, since we got one for lola
making the bed nicely
bing crosby movies
brewing pots of gifted stumptown coffee
cleaning up after messy christmas projects
weekending
December 13, 2010 | Filed Under familial, weekending | 1 Comment
another weekend of basketball, church, hanging around the house, cooking and eating, and a little bit of tidying up after a week long royal buffet frenzy. we went to a christmas party at cory’s and erin’s house and ate lots of cheese dip, little blts and candy of all shapes and sizes. it was hard to stop eating the candy. and the meatballs. and the cheese dip. erin does amazing things with lots of foods that are all good and ready at the same time. that’s hard to do.
lola came to the party and we took turns holding elsa. babies like elsa make me want another baby of my own. if only life were simpler.
it was fun to go to a party at christmastime. we took lola along and the boys had a pizza party with big dad. we came home at 9:30 to find that the boys had tucked themselves into bed and had actually gone to sleep. this was both surprise and pride inducing and also made us feel kind of sad as we know that big dad didn’t tuck them in with kisses and goodnights and extra blankets and books they’ve not read in awhile, so the idea of them going to bed like that didn’t seem quite right. “i guess we’re just attachment parents,” ernie said, and of course we are, but when the kids get older and you don’t have slings and the secret that you co-sleep and don’t let your babies cry in a (nonexistent) crib is no longer really relevant, you don’t really think as much about the ways you practice attachment parenting anymore, or how that will actually be realized with older kids.
this week we’re having christmas school at our house, doing all of the christmas things that are hard to do with the more involved school things in the day. we made gingerbread houses today, a little village. i bought a kit this year rather than making them out of graham crackers. there was enough candy for constant eating and sprinkling and squishing onto the houses and there was frosting all over the place. there was lots of thanking from my kids and i love you moms and i felt kind of bad that we don’t make messes together like that more often. there’s plenty of mess, but not a lot of it that we’re doing together and with purpose. i think there’s a difference somewhere in there. tomorrow’s mess will add to our paper cut snowflake collection. i saved the best from last year and hope to add some every year for many years to come.
jollies
December 9, 2010 | Filed Under lists, ordinary | Leave a Comment
finish and ship on out the etsy orders
finish a custom mobile for a local baby
whip out some handmade christmas gifts (secrets)
christmas parties
loll about watching afternoon movies
buy a christmas tree
wrap presents before christmas eve
make candy
bake peanut butter cookies with little kisses on top
hang lights outside
try to actually light all five advent candles this year
stand under the mistletoe at opportune times
teach kids some good old fashioned christmas carols
go to a christmas concert
stuff that turkey without grimacing
