climb a ladder up to the sun

June 8, 2012 | Filed Under ordinary 

kids in bed, the night still so very fresh and young, sun in the windowsills, shadowed on the bathroom wall, dim and dimmer across the living room floor. i like the fans pulling, pushing, the darkness slanting across the beds, the quiet in buckets black and full, the cars speeding by for the friday.

swimming today. long, fish finning kicks cutting across the cold water. the kids, they are tired from a week and more of birthday shenanigans. they are tired from the sun and the swim. i am tired from the tiredness of them, the crying, the crabby words, the ridiculousness of it all. if i weren’t so tired i could laugh at how ridiculous they are. instead i just put their sorry selves to bed and brew coffee in barefeet, the kitchen floor clean, the quiet of the house clean.

sweet june, one of the sweetest months, the month before sunburns and fireworks and back to school shopping, all the garden green and tidy, all the plans hopeful and good.

the baby swims, hiccups, kicks a good kick all the blessed night. i wish i were younger, smaller, stronger in the legs and arms. i wish my hair was long already. i wish i had the endurance to run with full lungs and no boredom. i wish it was time for the baby to come, but that would mean a blur and goodbye to the sweetest june, the sky blue haze of july, the august, a weave of tomatoes, freckles, and the blue, blue pool water.

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